How can we replace self-esteem with inherent value?
How can we replace self-esteem with inherent value? I have just watched a lovely TED talk by Meag-gan Ann O’Reilly. In it she talks about the importance of having inherent value rather than a conditional sense of self-worth. Feeling like you are not enough is very damaging. We can see its effects most clearly when looking at imposter syndrome, anxiety and perfectionism.
Inherent value means something has value in its own right. If we believe this, it is much better for our mental health and relationships. If we base our self-worth on academic performance, appearance or approval of others, the research shows that it reduces our performance levels, damages relationships, and increases stress and anger.
Our worth should be omnipresent and unequivocal. The conditional worth messages that we have been deceiving ourselves with are deeply entrenched in society, and it takes time and effort to unlearn them. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others. We can still look to our role models for inspiration, but we shouldn’t compare ourselves negatively with them.
Learn to do things because you enjoy them, rather than for the things you expect to get in return.
We need to learn to accept our successes and failures, and those of our loved ones, without judgement. These do not define a person, and should not affect our self-worth. It is much healthier for us to instead learn to respect our values and what is really important to us.
Project 365
I set up this website after deciding that I want to build a more creative life for myself, so I can give up my job and be in control of my own destiny.
I have set myself a goal of publishing an article on my website every day this year, to document my journey from employment to self-employment.
The name I chose was Project 365 because I see this as a year that I have dedicated to learning and self-development, as I countdown to freedom. It started on 1st January 2021, so I have 312 days to go!
Why not check in on a regular basis to see how I am progressing, and what I have discovered?
I have decided to set up a blog, and to document my adventures in life through it.