How can our vulnerability help us find joy?

How can our vulnerability help us find joy? I absolutely love this TED talk by Brene Brown. She talks about the importance of vulnerability, and how we can use it to help us with connection. She looks at how shame can unravel connection, because we don’t feel we are good enough.

In order for connection to happen we have to embrace vulnerability and allow ourselves to be truly seen. It comes down to whether or not we believe we are worthy of love and belonging. At the centre of this is a sense of courage, the courage to have compassion for ourselves and others, and to accept all our imperfections. In order to build connection, we need to be fully authentic, meaning we need to let go of who we think we should be in order to accept who we actually are.

We need to embrace our vulnerability, and accept out weaknesses and fears. We need to give up on our need to control and predict the future, and allow ourselves to take chances and understand there are no guarantees.

This is difficult for those of us who are used to being in control of everything! It requires a new way of looking at the world. Vulnerability is not only at the centre of our struggle for worthiness, but also is the centre of creativity, joy and belonging.

Most of us numb our vulnerability in order to cope with the world. We may use food, alcohol, shopping or drugs to self-medicate, but in the end, these coping strategies end up numbing all our emotions, rather than just the negative ones. We also numb our joy, and end up searching for purpose and meaning.

We also tend to take sides, creating a polarised society. By doing this we are trying to make the uncertain certain, and we tell ourselves we are right, and others are wrong.

Sadly, we also try to perfect ourselves, and we push this pressure onto our children too. What we should be doing is telling them that they are imperfect, but worthy of love and belonging.

If we could be more honest, and authentically admit that what we do has an effect on other people, then we could start to improve the world. If our workplaces could be truly authentic, and we could truly allow ourselves to be vulnerably seen in all areas of our life, then we would have the compassion to truly help ourselves and those around us.

Project 365

I set up this website after deciding that I want to build a more creative life for myself, so I can give up my job and be in control of my own destiny.

I have set myself a goal of publishing an article on my website every day this year, to document my journey from employment to self-employment.

The name I chose was Project 365 because I see this as a year that I have dedicated to learning and self-development, as I countdown to freedom. It started on 1st January 2021, so I have 258 days to go!